Family 3 | scully's Blog

My grand-mother:

She was born in Madrid, Spain. She knew the Spain war, and the Algeria war, at least a part of it. She had a brother who died, I don't know when, but he was an adult, and it was of disease. Her father was a medicine doctor. She never worked. She's still alive today, she's 83. She was born a June, 4, and I think it became difficult for her because my mother died a June, 4. 

I've always thought she had no real personality, because she tended to tell lies, but not real lies, not like a mythomane either, but a sort of wy to tell events like they didn't happen, and also she had a way to ask for a service that made you feel guilty if you didn't accept. Maybe in fact she was a manipulator, who knew how to make people complain for her, and blame anywho other. I had problems with that until the day I left her house. 

She was very supersticious, and annoying with it as she pushed it on others. I partially because right-handed because of it. On the other side, she was never happy with what she had. I mean I was never good enough, she always saw bad things first. And she complained about not having money, when my grand-father had paid all the house, and left her a decent rent after his death. She took money on my account in my back. If she considered she needed to take my money to raise me, I'd have taken bad, but would've been okay with it, but use the card of my decent garnd-father in my back, it was difficult to swallow. 

As it sounds, I still have a negative image of her, and that although I lived under her roof, that in fact I always believed to be my grand-father's roof. I though that she had raised 3 daughters, but after what i've learnt, my Godmother was raised by my great-grand-mother. I try not to judge the situation because I don't know the circumstances, but what i don't like is the make believe that's been in front of it, hiding the truth, and then ask to others to be other that they are. 

I was sometimes in conflict with her when I was little, regarding my laterality for instance, which was justified, but I was made guilty of it. Our relationship decreased in quality by the moment my grand-father died. I grew up and took not more character, but independence, and started to realize things consciously. There were lots of conflictual situations and issues until the day I left. I had lost trust in her a very long time ago. She didn't want to talk to me about "the secret". I spent lots of time at a friend, or  my cousins. 

Some things are still unclear, and the fact that she refuses to answer isn't a gage of honesty to me.